“Nobody can understand what I’ve been through…” is a sentence often spoken by people who have gone through a traumatic event. Most seek help and find that help “…didn’t do much for me.” Their conclusion: “Nobody’s coming to my pity party, I need to suck it up, keep my feelings to myself, and live my life.”
When you add to that experience the hurtful things well-intentioned people say (“Time heals all wounds,” etc), isolation becomes a safe place. The problem is, in our traumatic ignorance, we don’t understand that isolation opens a door that leads to terrible outcomes — ISOLATION CAN KILL YOU.
In this video, you will hear three very different people — Mac, Wade Cates, and Tim Lynch — describe how it made perfect sense to isolate themselves after traumatic events; that isolation was the path each of them followed intuitively, because “nobody was coming to my pity party.”
Each of these three people has transformed their lives; if they can do that, so can you.
KEY IDEAS
- Isolation is what most people do in the aftermath of a traumatic event. They don’t go there intentionally; they go there out of ignorance (just don’t understand) and not wanting to let others know how deeply they are struggling… so they hide. It’s a very natural/intuitive response.
- Feelings of guilt or failure often drive isolation.
- Numbing with alcohol makes everything, including isolation, worse.
- We don’t understand therapy and therapists, again, our ignorance. They are long-term project managers who struggle to help people seeking short-term or immediate assistance, so we often quit.
- Transformation is counter-intuitive, but a completely learnable skill.
- The transforming of a life begins with ending isolation.
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